Men and women have different expectations about sex and sex in a relationship. For me personally, HONEST COMMUNICATION and COMPROMISE are two of the biggest parts of maintaining a relationship. Each person brings different ideas of sexuality to the relationship. Being able to communicate your expectations or what you may or may not want out of the relationship is very important. Both partners should be comfortable talking about themselves, their emotions, and desires. Being able to talk openly about yourself means that you have to know yourself and be comfortable with yourself both emotionally and physically. If you don’t know what feels good, you can’t expect the other person to know. If you don’t know what feels good and neither does your partner, then the only way to find out if you like something is to try it. (As long as BOTH partners are comfortable talking about and doing it.) 

         If you want your partner to do something ask him/her. Don’t hint and then get upset because they didn’t "get it." If you want your partner to touch you a certain way or kiss you a certain way, etc. it’s best just to tell your partner what you like or dislike. Partners aren't mind readers and don’t know what you’re feeling and will (in most cases) appreciate being told what you like/dislike without having to guess.

          Being tolerant and understanding of different sexuality preconceptions is also necessary. One partner may feel the relationship should be "all about them and making them happy." By patiently explaining why you agree or disagree with your partners preconceptions will either enable you to work through it, or force a decision as to how willing either partner is to continue the relationship. If you’re in a relationship you obviously care and/or love your partner and want to make the relationship work. Both people want to be happy with the relationship and want their opinions, ideas, feelings, and desires to matter; however, neither partner can ALWAYS get their way and have BOTH partners be happy in the relationship. If either partner is unhappy, uncomfortable, or upset about something then they have to be able to talk to their partner about whatever is bothering them. The key is not to attack and accuse your partner and make them feel bad. Generally, if your partner feels attacked and as if he/she is being accused of something they will get defensive and you will ARGUE instead of talk.

          If you aren’t able to openly and honestly discuss your feelings and expectations on the topic of sex, then you really aren’t ready emotionally to be having sex. Physically you can have sex, but you may not be getting as much out of it as you could be. Personally, I want sex to be more than just the PHYSICAL act of sex. For me, it has more meaning when the person you're sharing it with respects and loves you and your desires and wants to share all parts of the experience with you.

          Honesty and communication can bring a lot more enjoyment to both the physical and the emotional act of sex. Sex is more than just a physical act, its an expression of love between two people which can be taken to as many levels as you may or may not want to take it. Does this mean sex is going to be GREAT and EXPLOSIVE every time you have sex? Probably not, but it can be satisfying for both partners. What’s satisfying is different for every couple, but if you’re not feeling comfortable with anything, you should be able to tell your partner what is making you uncomfortable and maybe try something different.

          If you can't talk about sex with your partner, then personally I would have to ask how much do you really care about this person, or how much do they really care about you? Are you BOTH willing to listen to the other's fantasies and desires? Are you both willing to discuss STDs and pregnancy? Are you BOTH willing to take RESPONSIBILITY for keeping both partners safe (from pregnancy, STDs, etc.)? Are you BOTH willing to initiate sex or try different positions or things to make BOTH partners happy? The important thing this page is trying to say is that sex is not meant to be one-sided. Neither partner is always supposed to be getting all of the pleasure or attention during sex. If sex is one-sided then the other partner is missing out on a lot and the relationship isn't as good as it could be, at least in my opinion.