A. Advising is a communication interaction.

1. Advising is more than giving information.
2. Advising usually involves two people who both deserve to be heard. Usually the student needs something so her or his need takes precedence.
3. The single most important skill is listening.

B. It is important to the adviser to have good skill in listening because

1. It improves your relationship with advisees and increases your value to them.
2. It enables you to perform well those aspects of our jobs that transcend mere information giving
   • the teaching function
   • the mentor function
   • the exemplar function
   • the critic function
3. Your problem-solving skills improve because you are better able to assess what is really going on with an advisee.
4. You are less likely to make a mistake.
5. You don't have to plan interviews to the last detail because you will be listening actively and will learn from the advisee.
6. It reduces stress.

C. It is important to advisees that the adviser have good skill in listening because

1. It affects advisees' feelings about being in school; it affects their self-esteem.
2. It shows that the institution cares about them, that someone will listen and help.
3. Advisees will tend to regard the good listener as more reliable and trustworthy, authoritative, and able.
4. Advisees will perceive themselves as adults who can be equals.

II. Barriers to good listening

A. Honor thine audience. You must give advisees a hearing before judging them.

B. Advisers have the power and backing of the institution, information and experience.

C. Advisers can think they know what is happening with students and therefore not listen.

D. Students can be afraid of bothering the adviser, of being embarrassed for not knowing something or not be aware of what the real problem is.

E. Other barriers can be

1. Judging what was said rather than listening for understanding; evaluating.
2. Name calling; always find something of value in what the person has said.
3. Analyzing.
4. Solving.
5. Ignoring.
6. Changing the subject or redirecting the conversation.
7. Assuming that communication has happened.

III. Theory specific to good listening

A. The six principles of communication

1. We are always communicating. We cannot not communicate. 55% of communication is nonverbal. 38% is in the tone of voice. 7% of effective communication is in the words. As advisers, we must "listen" with all our senses.
2. Communication is not intent; it is perception. It doesn't matter what the speaker intends; it only matters what the listener perceives. The listener must always check perception with intention.
3. Communication is complex.
4. Improved communication skill reduces stress.
5. Communication involves both attitudes and skills.
6. Skill in listening is learned young. Actual training is in antilistening.

B. What is good listening?

1. Listening is taking in information while reserving judgment.
2. Listening is a choice; hearing simply happens.

C. What does a good listener do?

1. Uses attending skills. Giving your physical attention to another person.

   a. Has a posture of involvement.
   
   (1) Inclining your body toward the speaker.
   (2) Relaxed alertness.
   (3) Facing the other squarely.
   (4) Maintaining an open position.
   (5) Positioning your body at an appropriate distance.
   
   b. Uses appropriate body motions. Moves in response to the speaker. Avoids nervous or distracting gestures.
   c. Uses appropriate eye contact. Not too much, not too little.
   d. Provides a nondistracting environment.
   
   (1) Closing doors is a good way to cut down on distractions, but for many reasons, it may not be a good idea.
   (2) Removing physical barriers, e.g. , desks should not intervene between the two communicators unless you mean to have the barrier.
   
   e. Gives psychological attention. Be right there in the same psychological space with the advisee. You cannot fake this. A perceptive advisee can tell when your thoughts are a million miles away or focused on yourself.
   
   

2. Uses following skills. That is, showing that you are following, not leading, the conversation.

   a. Giving door openers, ice breakers. These are noncoercive invitations to talk, to get involved in the conversations. These typically have four elements.

   (1) A description of the other's body language. "Looks like something may be troubling you."
   (2) An invitation to talk or continue talking. "I'd be glad to hear what you have to say."
   (3) Silence. Give the other person a chance to decide whether to talk. And if so, at his/her own pace.
   (4) Attend.

   b. Using minimal encourages. These are brief utterances/gestures that show to the other person that you are with them; statements such as "I see, oh."
   c. Engaging in open but infrequent questions. Questions tend to put the two conversers opposite each other; statements are more typical of two people on the same side.

   (1) Closed questions tend to impede good listening because they prematurely anticipate an answer.
   (2) Too many questions impede good listening because the questioner tends to direct rather than to follow the conversation. Ask one question at a time.

   d. Allowing for attentive silence. This may be difficult for a busy adviser to do. You should not feel nervous and fill silence. While the advisee is pausing, you can be

   (1) Attending to the student, showing attentive posture.
   (2) Observing the student; reading the student's body language.
   (3) Reflecting on what the student has just said.

    

3. Uses reflecting skills. These are the ways of conveying to the advisee that you understand/do not understand.

   a. Paraphrasing.
   b. Reflecting feelings.
   c. Using summative reflections.

D. Six nonverbal techniques for bettering listening

L - lean toward the speaker
I - involved posture. Don't always fold your arms. Don't cross your legs. Turn toward the advisee; face the person.
S - smile appropriately
T - territory. Don't put a desk between you and the speaker. Don't invade the speaker's comfortable space. Too much distance impedes communication; too little space increases anxiety.
E - eye contact. Have good eye contact 60% of the time.
N - nondistracting movement. Nod your head, move your body comfortably when the speaker moves. Avoid distracting movements.

VII. Suggestions for further enhancement of listening and general listening and communication skills.

A. Duties of the speaker

1. Speak loudly enough.
2. Speak clearly. Use language that is understandable.
3. Speak in terms of the listener's interest, something of value to the listener.
4. Be specific.

B. Duties of the listener

1. Hear.
2. Understand.
3. Appreciate the message.
4. Act on the speaker's request.

C. How do we put all we have learned about listening into practice?

1. Realize that it takes 21-30 days to change behavior.
2. Make a 30-day plan.
3. Make a commitment. Write down your objectives.
4. Find a friend to work with you.
5. Discuss the topic of listening with others.
6. Observe others listening.
7. Tell people that you are working on listening.
8. Consciously work at listening.