 |
|
|
| 
|
 My thirty years as an administrator of academic support services have introduced me to many “helicopter parents.”There is not one model that fits all. One must handle each family case by case. Some parents might need only a reality-based conversation. This might entail providing them with the reassurance that their young adult will be connected to advisers, faculty, and administrators that will provide them with the necessary support. In the conversation, the role and responsibilities of the student versus the college should always be explained. Once I have assured and convinced them that this is best for their “child's” development they are able to “let go” (most of the time). On the other hand, you might have those parents who expect you to serve as a surrogate parent, guardian, or police officer. I take a firmer stance with these parents. My role is immediately clarified, and the Buckley amendment and the student's responsibilities are discussed. Naturally, this is done with a customer-care attitude. Parents are made aware that all my communication and meetings will be with the student. I am always willing to meet with the parents and student at least once. At that time, expectations, role, and responsibilities of all involved parties are discussed. Hopefully, by the end of the meeting an agreement has been reached on these matters. These parents need reassurance that there is “nothing new under the sun.” It will take time for their young adult to adjust and mature to a new environment. The best support sometimes is giving them their space to grow. The rule of thumb is to first think what would be best for you (as a parent) if you were on the other side. Parents are our best customers. ~ Dr. Mary A. Alexander-Ellis, Lesley College, April 7 Personally, I do believe that many of today's parents are too involved with their student's affairs. Granted, I know coming straight out of high school at 18 isn't the easiest thing, however, if they are an “adult” they should be able to handle most things on their own. The only thing parents really should be involved in is the financial aid process and billing of tuition. Even then sometimes you have to be careful of what you say or don't say to parents. It's a toss up, but bottom line, college students should be responsible for their actions. Maybe the first semester they need some hand holding, but not for four years. I have even had law students' parents calling or wanting to be involved. First of all it's illegal according to FERPA, second, would you want someone representing you who still has to get help from his parents? I feel that sometimes student affairs officers are seen as student babysitters. I feel that today's parents need to let go and not be so hovering. Parent involvement is great but there is a time to actually let the student not child grow up.
~ Wayne Sutton, Ed.M., M.M., University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, April 25 The Mentor is published by Penn State's Division of Undergraduate Studies Available online at www.psu.edu/dus/mentor/ Privacy and Legal Statements | Copyright | © The Pennsylvania State University | All rights reserved | |
