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 In certain circumstances, it is very appropriate to share personal information. In my humble opinion, it is sometimes the only way to reach a student who is in trouble or suffering. By sharing our experiences we can demonstrate to the student that we have empathy for their situation. We may even have some suggestions that can help them get through the experience. We may know of resources they can use. By sharing our experiences, a bond of trust can be established.If we remember that we are here to assist the student in his/her quest for an education, assisting them can include trying to retain them through their toughest times. If we don't go overboard by becoming “verbal exhibitionists” or use the student as our “therapist,” sharing our personal information can be a very effective tool in advising. ~ Eva Brickman, Purdue University Calumet, December 2 What Eva said! Everyone who enters into a helping relationship with another always retains the option of self-disclosure when it is in the interest of the client. In those situations when a student is feeling like s/he is the first person in the world to experience a problem situation, it can be incredibly supportive and affirming to hear a respected adviser's own personal experience. But it's a matter for the professional judgment of the adviser to decide if and when it will be helpful and not just personally gratifying to the adviser.~ Marc A. Kaplan, Marygrove College, December 3 The student who needs to hear an adviser's religious and political leanings is the rare student. The adviser is not the center of the process. However, the storytelling of the adviser's experience often opens the door for the student who needs to articulate their own leanings. As advisers, we are often the first to hear the student articulate a new thought. Because I value the revelation of new thoughts in the advising relationship, I choose not to fear sharing my story with my students. It is a means to an end, but rarely the end itself.~ Karen Thurmond, The University of Memphis, December 3 An eager, first-year, exploratory student recently arrived excitedly at my office. She had tracked down a lead we had previously discussed and found a faculty member who is researching a cross-disciplinary specialty that greatly interests the student, but in which no major is offered. The faculty member was eager, I was told, to add my undergraduate advisee to her research team and had asked her to prepare a resume. The student and I discussed what might be included in it, and I assured her that she had more to present than she realized. The session might have ended on that bright note, but the student stayed seated and wore that “There's something else . . .” look on her face.When I probed her about how things were going in general, my advisee began hesitatingly to tell me about a religious group she had joined during her first week on campus. I listened intently as she related both the advantages and disadvantages of her membership, as she saw them, as well as the conflicts and agreements with her family's religious beliefs. As she spoke, I offered only gentle direction and helped her recap her assurances and doubts, explaining how she could weigh both in the balance. Then the advisee asked me, “What is your faith belief?” A simple question, yet a thousand thoughts raced through my mind at that moment: appropriateness, academic freedom, abuse of position, engaging a student intellectually . . . This is certainly not a topic I usually discuss in an advising session. I gave a straightforward answer, followed by some further explanations stemming from my advisee's questioning. At last the student said, “I just wanted to see if I'm talking with someone who can relate to my concerns.” Clearly, my willingness to share my beliefs was helpful to this student. I agree with Eva Brickman that “appropriateness” is the key, and discretion, when sharing personal information. In some cases, knowing that we advisers have a life beyond our office walls may make all the difference for a student who is struggling to make sense of things. ~ Mike Stokes, Penn State University, December 3 The Mentor is published by Penn State's Division of Undergraduate Studies Available online at www.psu.edu/dus/mentor/ Privacy and Legal Statements | Copyright | © The Pennsylvania State University | All rights reserved | |
