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 One of my (female, student-athlete) advisees just left my office; I had hugged her when she first came in, since she has just returned from her mother's funeral two days earlier. She had missed a week of classes, and finals are upon her. I had notified her instructors last week when I heard the news, even without her request to do so.I'm sure this circumstance is only one of thousands that occur every day between advisers and their advisees. I mention it only because I think it exemplifies the kind of relationships that develop when good advising occurs (OK, that's a pat on my own back). The confidence and support that advisers are able to build can be extraordinary, and really surfaces in extraordinary situations. If we cannot recognize the situations when a hug, a handshake, and/or a pat on the back is appropriate, then we are probably not fulfilling our jobs very well. Obviously, my answer to the question is “No.” ~ Tom Grites, Richard Stockton College of New Jersey, December 11, 2006 I agree with Mr. Grites—one should have the professional maturity and personal integrity to discern when and what contact is appropriate and with whom.~ Arnie Mejias, University of South Florida, The Honors College, December 12, 2006 Many of my students have had difficult lives with many deficiencies. A hug of joy or concern/caring, a reassuring pat on the hand or arm—this is humanity. Our professionalism is what stops us from crossing the line into inappropriate behavior.~ Claire Hilgeman, The Art Institutes International Minnesota, December 13, 2006 When I moved into a split position between academic advising and career counseling (another forum topic for another time in itself!), I found that many of my career counseling clients and students initiated a handshake either before or after their sessions with me. Over time, I've incorporated it into the beginning and/or ending of my advising meetings, if I think the student is receptive. A firm (but not bone-crushing) handshake and a look-them-in-the-eye smile are always appropriate!~ Melissa Cooper, Indiana University Purdue University–Indianapolis, December 14, 2006 Some people are very “touchy-feely” and some are not. Don't assume others are like you. I think more than a handshake is appropriate only if advisers know the student very well and know touch is welcomed. Since I advise our teacher education students, and we train them extensively in appropriate touch with students, I think it wise to follow the same guidelines. Universal good touch is on the shoulder or arm, and we should touch each gender in the same way. Touch is inappropriate if we don't touch both genders the same way. Touching always runs the risk of a “needy” student making a complaint or lawsuit. Innocent people with good intentions have had their lives ruined. Be very careful touching advisees.~ Gretchen Anderson, Western Washington University, December 15, 2006
As professionals, we need to make sure that we are not
over-imposing ourselves on our students. If a student offers a
hand, then shake it. Some cultures do not shake hands and
some students are just uncomfortable with physical contact.
Since you are already in a position of authority, you don't
want them to feel obligated to reciprocate your actions. In
the case of hugging, that should ALWAYS be initiated by the
student if, and only if, they need it. Even then, you need to be
aware enough to read the situation and perhaps stop the hug
with a handshake. With the closeness that we get to students'
lives by virtue of our positions, it seems that a hug doesn't
cross any lines. However, for those advisers that do hug, I
ask you whether you are giving the hug because the student
needs it or because you need it. If it's the latter, then it
seems to be an inappropriate action.~ Derek Furukawa, University of Nevada, Las Vegas, December 20, 2006 The Mentor is published by Penn State's Division of Undergraduate Studies Available online at www.psu.edu/dus/mentor/ Privacy and Legal Statements | Copyright | © The Pennsylvania State University | All rights reserved | |
