Sharing Skills Sometimes Hard For Toddlers To Learn
August 3, 2000
Parents hoping to teach their children how to share must keep in mind that sharing is a social skill that toddlers and preschoolers are just beginning to develop. So says Linda Duerr, director of the Child Development Laboratory in Penn State's College of Health and Human Development.

"Sharing skills need to developed with the assistance, support and guidance of adults. Children come into the world quite egocentric. It takes time to learn that everything they want cannot automatically be theirs," says Duerr.

Toddlers, Duerr notes, view property like this: If I like it, it's mine. If it' in my hand, it's mine. If I can take it from you, it's mine. If I had it a little while ago, it's still mine. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way; If I am doing or building something, all of the pieces are mine; If it looks just like mine, it is mine.

Parents can, of course, still discuss, model and praise a child for sharing attempts," says Duerr.

As children move into the preschool years it is more realistic to expect them to start sharing as they are developmentally more equipped to deal with the concept. They learn reciprocity and see that sharing feels good.

"Sharing should never be thought of only in terms of property, of course. Sharing space and time are issues for young children," says Duerr.