Q: Why is the United States facing a loneliness epidemic?
Dattilo: Multiple factors contributed to the development of a loneliness epidemic. Over time, our society became more convenient, but the flip side of that convenience is that it often reduced our interactions with people. In the past, if we deposited a check at our bank, filled our car with gas, and bought groceries for dinner, we were likely to interact with many different people. Now we can do all of that without speaking to anyone.
Additionally, many individuals live alone or do not interact with many people. Other people feel isolated within households because they live with people whose attention is focused on technology. Additionally, isolation experienced due to the COVID-19 pandemic exacerbated existing problems.
Q: What can people do if they are lonely?
Dattilo: There are various actions people can take to combat loneliness. I study leisure education, which is about supporting people as we explore who we are and what brings meaning to our lives. In our society, companies often design products and experiences to amuse people; amusement can pacify, but it does not meaningfully engage people. We should ask ourselves, “What brings me amazement rather than amusement?”
Research shows the value of participating in an activity that we find meaningful and that requires concentration to accomplish. This could be playing a video game, skiing, playing a musical instrument, participating in a team sport, painting, or almost any other activity that requires our full attention. Meaningful activities help people achieve ‘flow,’ a psychological state in which we feel our skills match the challenge of an activity. In flow, we maintain concentration and feel successful. Time passes quickly, and our sense of loneliness consequently tends to decrease.
Moreover, when we find ways to participate in activities that we care about and do them with other people, this often leads to social connections. Social connections do not always happen at work or in our communities. But, when people are recreating and enjoying themselves, research shows that we are likely to connect with others.
People who regularly experience leisure with others are likely to have positive social experiences and feel less lonely. This provides social support that is vital to our mental and physical health. When we join a club or attend a social recreation activity — a running club, a martial arts class, a regular coffee shop gathering, a group of people who spend time in nature — we connect with people who share a common interest. These types of experiences are valuable for several reasons, and one is that they create bonds and social connections.
Q: What can people do to help other people avoid loneliness?
Dattilo: The most fundamental action we can take to help others is to create welcoming environments for diverse people. This is at the crux of what I teach my students: When people feel like they belong, they are much more likely to participate and experience leisure.
For example, a neighborhood meal where people are encouraged to bring a dish that accommodates their diet or is representative of their native land would allow for the celebration of differences between people and give everyone the opportunity to explore what we have in common and what makes us unique.
But we do not need to organize a potluck to combat loneliness. We can start just by saying hello to people and asking how they are doing that day.
Every day, we have opportunities to do something positive for another person. Each one of us is a role model for everyone around us. When we see someone struggling, there is no such thing as an innocent bystander.
We need to be compassionate and make positive interactions a priority. If we demonstrate empathy by attempting to understand people who are struggling — considering we seldom know all the struggles of our close friends, much less the struggles of strangers — we will work toward the inclusion of others, encourage them to experience the wonders of leisure, and help to turn the tide of the loneliness epidemic.