UNIVERSITY PARK, Pa. — When a loved one dies, there is a sudden outpouring of support for close friends and family members. But what happens in the weeks and months that follow?
The creators of WPSU’s Speaking Grief initiative have created an app called “Follow the Nudge” to help people who want to support someone who is grieving. The app is available free at followthenudge.org.
Most grief support happens immediately after a person dies, said Lindsey Whissel Fenton, WPSU senior producer and director.
“That support tends to go away a few weeks or months after the loss. It’s not that people stop caring, it’s just that they go on with their lives and get distracted,” she said. “But the grieving person still needs support. We created ‘Follow the Nudge’ as a way to help support people keep their grieving person in mind and keep reaching out consistently over time.”
At followthenudge.org, users can create an account and enter the name of the person or people they want to support. The site asks for relevant dates such as anniversaries or birthdays and the user chooses how often they would like a nudge. It can be used to support a variety of events, including death, divorce, illness and more.
The app then sends users periodic text messages reminding them to check in with the grieving person, with messages such as, “Have you checked in with Taylor recently? It’s OK if this feels awkward. It’s likely awkward for Taylor, too.”
The app provides sample messages, which can be as simple as “Thinking of you today” or “No need to respond, just sending you a hug today,” or “Sorry you’re going through this – here for you.” It also offers suggestions of things the user can do, from offering to vacuum to sending a gift card, and advice such as offering support, not comfort, and noting that “it’s never too soon or too late” to send a card.
The app also offers links to sites where users can learn more about grief.
“Follow the Nudge” grew out of efforts by the Speaking Grief team to continue transforming grief support education into action, Fenton said. Other resources, including live webinars, recordings of previous webinars, a documentary, and interviews with grief experts, are available at speakinggrief.org.
Fenton says she uses the app herself to remind her to check in with a number of friends and family members she wants to support.
Major funding for the Speaking Grief initiative has come from New York Life Foundation. “Follow the Nudge” was funded by the WPSU Innovation Fund. Additional donations help keep the app free of charge.