Brinkert, who researches the effectiveness of gratitude in the workplace, believes the element of surprise adds another beneficial layer.
“Expressions that come unexpectedly have a lot more weight than things that are expected,” he said. “A present that you get as a total surprise will have more meaning versus a present for your birthday. It's really important to make the opportunity to thoughtfully surprise people because that really stands out for them.”
Thoughtfulness can include a handwritten letter or card, which inherently carries more emotional weight than an email. Brinkert also notes that a bold, artistic, or personal creation often produces a memorable experience for the receiver. Examples are mailing a distinctive postcard or making or purchasing a handmade item.
“By expressing gratitude, we often broaden a relationship from being purely transactional and narrow to a more human level,” he said. “We're so busy with handling the day-to-day tasks and goals of our lives that we lose sight of how we interact with one another. I think gratitude opens that up and gives us a fresh perspective on things. ”